Lucas the destroyer.

From Random

Weight: 150 lbs.
Height: 6′2
Personality: Loves to cuddle, eat trash, destroy new beautiful furniture, and take over your bed at night.
Any takers? Saddle included.

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Tonight I watched My Sister’s Keeper. I bawled and bawled. The storyline itself was really sad, but of course it hit really close to home. Especially the character of the mother. It made me think a lot.
Before Nathan was born and I got the diagnosis, I [...]

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For those of you who haven’t seen Kung Fu Panda about 350 times like Nathan and I have, you wouldn’t recognize the title…It happens at the very beginning, when Panda is dreaming, and he defeats a host of bandits, he casually mentions to his adoring fans – there’s no charge [...]

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Someone said these words to me today. At first I found myself blubbering about how wonderful Nathan is and everything I’ve learned through him. I was trying to justify why my life is so wonderful. Sure sure she said. Humoring me. Deep down she felt [...]

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I’m going to quote from Amy’s blog:

Today, Melanie over at Better Than Normal posted “Everything Out On The Table”. She’s overwhelmed, depressed, and coming to the realization that she’s “not the super mom she wanted to be.”
Last week Katy over at [...]

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My brain’s a bit rambunctious today. I have a whole bunch of stuff I want to talk about and I just don’t know what to pick. So I’m going to say a bit of everything.
* I got caught playing the “doctor switcharoo” game. I’ve been trying [...]

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If I thought of who I was 4 years ago, I never ever ever ever would’ve guessed I’d be who I am today.
4 years ago I couldn’t find the vegetable aisle at the supermarket if my life depended on it. I thought a great meal was finding dollar frozen [...]

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Many of you who follow this blog have at one time or another commented or emailed me directly.  If so, you know I do my best to email back and reply to comments via email (I don’t like to reply to comments on the actual thread because I think people [...]

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I read this blog post today and it completely captured what I felt about Belle.
It was really beautiful and I think relevant not just to SN kids but life in general.
All of life is fragile and uncertain

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Today we went to the movies and watched Extraordinary Measures.  I was already sobbing after the first few scenes.  I thought it was a really powerful story.  They really captured the essence of living with a child with disabilities.  I won’t say much because I hope everyone watches it.  It [...]

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From Random

My mom gave me this ornament when we were decorating the nursery for Nathan.  I was around 7 months pregnant with him.
I have looked at this little ornament hanging on the wall next to Nathan’s bed thousands of times.
But it’s only now, today, that I really understand its meaning.
Many [...]

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I’ve had a few people calling and emailing wanting to know how things went at my appointment with the perinatologist.  The news was…interesting.
The doctor reaffirmed me that her brain looks normal and her anatomy and organs all look great.
However, he did see some white spots in her heart, called echogenic [...]

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I have experienced the extraordinary of prayer. I believe Nathan’s very life is the result of prayer. I have seen times when he was headed for surgery, I asked people to pray, and the next day he was miraculously better. His extraordinary health I believe is [...]

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It’s 6 am and I just woke up from a dream. In this dream I saw Nathan running towards me. We got on a horse-drawn wagon and Nathan was so happy to drive it. When we got off the wagon, Nathan was playing in the grass under the bright sun. [...]

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I’ve been thinking a lot. I’ve been looking back at the last 4 months, and looking at us now, and feeling … extremely grateful.
The Nathan I have in front of me is different from the Nathan that went to Chile four months ago.
- After 2 years of 0 growth, [...]

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Close to a year ago I wrote about my Journey to Oz. I thought it was a place that you visited once and you never went back. Journey taken, lesson learned. I thought Oz was a flat road with a destination to be reached. No [...]

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I’ve been forgetting to do this again, but today I remembered, so here goes!
* Owen and I met on Match.com. My mom thought I was going to die a spinster because I wasn’t in a relationship at 24, so she created an account and profile for me. [...]

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Today, I felt Belle clearly moving in my belly! It’s the first time! I’ve suspected I’ve felt her move before, but today I felt her kicking many times and it was just wonderful!!! It’s such an incredible feeling, truly amazing, to feel life inside you. I felt [...]

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My visit from Mars, the god of war, left me with a very uncomfortable realization. It’s not like me to get so worked up over a bit of bureaucracy. I mean – I do have my temper – it’s sorta inevitable for me, given my heritage. But [...]

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Today I got a call from Fedex. They are holding a package with Nathan and Isabelle’s (pre-natal) supplements in the Chilean customs. They are giving me all sorts of crap about releasing the package. It’s supposed to go through all sorts of hoops and hollalalas just because [...]

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I’ve been thinking of life and luck today. How lucky to be Nathan’s mom and to get to share his life. How lucky to have a little baby girl on the way. Lucky to have the wonderful friends and family that I have. Lucky to [...]

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Katy did it too…another post that I completely relate to.
We have nothing in common
Wow, blogging is becoming easy, I don’t even have to write anymore, others do it for me

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McMama hit it square in the head with this post:
Authenticity
I feel very similar to her, which is why I “share all” in this blog – the good, the bad and the ugly.

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I found this post with these really cute pictures:
http://www.prayfornathan.org/blog/?p=80
Gorgeous!!!

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Today Isabelle Tara is 16 weeks pre-old. I can’t believe I’m entering my 4th month of pregnancy! It’s gone by pretty fast!
And the madness has begun:

From 11-16-09

Thanks Karym!!!

From 11-16-09

Thanks Sonia!
I was honestly not expecting to be pregnant with a little girl. But with time I am getting [...]

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I’ve been thinking a lot about miracles in the last few days. I met a little miracle boy on Saturday. He has agenesis of the corpus callosum. This can be very debilitating, and of the few people that I know who have children with ACC, they are [...]

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Amber over at PrayforBrandon.org usually has a day of the week for confessions. I’ve always enjoyed reading about her confessions. So I thought, hmmm, why not?
So here’s my first confession Friday:
1. The only thing I know how to cook from scratch is fried or scrambled eggs. [...]

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I need it with the whiiiiiiiiiiiiine I’m about to let loose.
Nathan is still sick. I had hopes that by catching the infection early, he would be all better by now. But no. He is sicker. His nose won’t stop running. He is pale [...]

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Gaining acceptance of Nathan’s situation has not been easy. Nathan’s first year, I suffered terribly. I kept thinking of the future, kept wondering what his life would be like given all of his limitations. I wanted nothing more than for Nathan to gain functional skills – nothing [...]

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First, some pictures of Nathan with cousins Matias and Claudia, taken on Saturday night:

I’m waiting for my cousin to send me the rest of the pictures that we took in Buenos Aires.
Today I wanted to talk about a diagnosis. Some days ago, in my Mission Impossible post, I wondered [...]

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Guess what… we are going to Argentina! By the time you read this post, we will probably already be there
It’s only a couple of hours away from Santiago, so we figured we’d spend Halloween in Buenos Aires with my cousin Claudia. We leave at noon Friday [...]

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I couldn’t have said this any better, so I won’t even try:
A fine line, by Charlie’s mom Katy
Thanks Katy for saying this so well and clearly.

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I’ll start today’s post with a video of Nathan in therapy this morning:

Doesn’t he look good! I’m really happy with how he’s progressing. Other than my emotional blip last week, I’m pleased with the tiny changes I see every day.
Last night while I was laying in bed trying [...]

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…a HEALTHY BABY SISTER!!! Meet Isabelle Tara!

Thanks for taking the poll! You guys were right! 62% voted that Nathan was having a sister! It was fun!

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My mom also sent me this and I wanted to share it on Nathan’s blog. I have believed in this for many years now, and I can guarantee that what this person says is true. With my own experience, I have experienced that my thoughts affect my reality. [...]

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Hi everyone. I have exciting news. On Wednesday I’m getting a level 2 ultrasound, and I should find out the sex of the baby. So today’s post is a poll. What do you think Nathan is going to have? A brother or a sister?
This should be [...]

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My mom sent me this by email, and I thought I should share it here, as I think it’s great advice for everyone I know!

What it takes
Don’t let the difficulties get you down. Let them get you going.
Seize each opportunity to grow stronger and more purposeful. Discover again and [...]

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After I wrote the post yesterday I had a nice long chat with my mom, followed by a nice long chat with my good friend Laura, followed by a nice hot bath, followed by a deep peaceful sleep. I slept until about 1 pm in the afternoon – I [...]

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When we first met Ramon he referred to Nathan as Mr. Mission Impossible…and then he said, “Not for long”.
I have to admit today I am doubting those words. I feel like I am walking through a desert with no end in sight. I feel like it’s [...]

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I read this prayer today and it was beautiful, she verbalized what I’ve been trying to say every sleepless night for the past few days:
Mackenzie’s Mother’s Prayer
(Please scroll to the bottom of the post).
It’s been a tough day today, a prayer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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I MISS MY DOGGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS. Yes, they are great danes, and yes, that is a dog in Lucas’ mouth, and yes they are as big as they look – 150 pounds each And the beautiful girl with them is Aixa, who was house sitting while Owen came to [...]

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I was reading some old posts and decided to start a new idea. Every so often I will post a “Way Back” post – something I wrote a while ago that seems very relevant today. Today’s post is:
Self care
I hope you enjoy reading this one as much as [...]

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Max and his mom Ellen are up for an award for the Best Special Needs Blog. I know some of my readers enjoy their blog so I thought I’d mention that the voting is still open so you can show your support:
http://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/mommy-blog-awards/articles/special-needs-blog-finalists.aspx
It only takes a minute and I’m sure [...]

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According to Wordpress, this is my 500th post. I figured it was a good time to celebrate!
I wanted to thank everyone who’s shared this journey with us – new and old friends. I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and support during this roller coaster journey. [...]

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EVERYTHING’S OKAY!
The baby is growing perfectly and we found a perfectly strong heartbeat today!!!!
Thank you for your prayers, they worked!!!!!

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4 large bowls of spaguetti, 1 lasagna, 1 loaf of bread, 1 bag of blue corn tortilla chips, 1 container of cocunut kefir, 25 episodes of Desperate Housewives, 12 episodes of House, 1/2 container of dark chocolate covered almonds, 1 soy chai latte, and about 145 hours laying in bed [...]

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Donna, Timmy’s mom, wrote this post and it was just so beautiful, I just had to share:
One Small Pearl
Thank you for describing the experience so beautifully Donna!

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Despite my positive thoughts and belief of a healthy, drama-free pregnancy, things haven’t gotten off to a good start.
I went in to the doctor on Wed for cramping, and was told by the doctor that he could detect a sac but no fetus or heartbeat. He said it was [...]

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I saw Nathan walking in my dreams again. This is the 2nd time in the last couple of months. Until now I’d never dreamed of him walking. I hope these are prophetic dreams!

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…with myself.
So, how do you feel about being pregnant? I am ecstatic!
How far along are you? 4 weeks.
OMG. Why are you sharing the news so early? Because I will not even honor the fear of miscarriage. I have decided that this [...]

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