I am Thankful

4.5 years ago when I was given Nathan’s diagnosis a part of me thought I’d never be happy again. How could I? Either my child would die at birth, very young, or live life severely disabled. I’ve never been more wrong in my entire life.

I am thankful for Nathan, just the way he is. I am thankful for every cell and atom in that boy’s body. I am thankful for being mother to one of the sweetest, most loving, most generous spirits on Earth. I am thankful to be chosen to care for and love him. I am thankful that he chose me as his most precious student.

I am thankful for the man who has been my rock, my foundation, for the love of my life who has held me through raging storms and violent earthquakes. I am thankful that he chose me to be the mother of his children, the woman to stand next to him and watch him blossom into the man he is today. I am thankful to be his partner in life, his partner in love and parenting and partnership and joy.

I am thankful for the sprite who graced us with completeness, with fun, with normalcy. Belle, my Belle, my sensitive determined serious wild child who made us a family. I couldn’t be more thankful for our little ohana of four.

And I am thankful for so much more. The heroes and heroines helping Nathan. The wise people who have guided and supported me through my journey. The friends who have cried with us, laughed with us, prayed for and with us. I am grateful to you, walking this journey with us, commenting, calling, emailing, reading silently, sharing yourselves with us simply by being here. I am grateful to the family that loves my kids so much, who celebrate every tiny and big accomplishment, who watch them so we can unwind, who teach them to laugh and bicker and play.

4.5 years ago I thought I could be happy if Nathan was a miracle child who against all odds developed the ability to walk, talk, be normal.

Today I am so thankful for exactly who he is. With his floppy head and hypertonic arms and fisted hands and drooly mouth. Today I am thankful that I had the wisdom to see beyond the constraints of this life and realize that what matters is for him, for me, for all of us to be happy, to become the best we can possibly be within the parameters of our lives.

Today I am thankful. And every day I look around and wonder, I must’ve done something very right at some point in time because I have the most wonderful, amazing, incredible people around me. And for that, and everything in my life, I am thankful.