I can’t sleep

There are days when I just can’t sleep. My brain is searching for something. The answer/vision is almost tangible, yet so elusive. I reach out…but nothing’s there.

I feel I am missing something. I have all of the pieces of the puzzle…but they are all still pieces, separate and disjointed, there is no unity.

I have learned a lot about brain development and brain plasticity. I have learned about nutrition. I have researched and tried all sorts of therapies. We have given Nathan so many supplements to improve his brain and immune function. It’s all right there…all of the pieces…so why is the puzzle not coming together?

I tried putting it together: Marcela’s views on rehabilitation. Pretty much everything on that list, we’ve tried: Alternative therapies.

What am I missing? Why is it still so disjointed?

Am I supposed to start a Center that integrates everything and weaves many of these approaches into a cohesive program? Am I supposed to offer these different therapies to Nathan at different times, in “intensive” blocks so he gets a bit of everything? Do I need to pick one and just stick to it, ignoring the other pieces of the puzzle? What is it that I’m supposed to do with all of this knowledge? How do I best help my son? How do I best help other brain injured children?

It feels that whatever this “puzzle” becomes is intrinsically connected to my life’s mission.

Now if only I could dream the vision.

Comments

  1. http://Sally%20Fraley says

    Give yourself a break. Communication is a huge deal–Nathan ‘gets it’ –so have fun!! with that– teach im words like boogers and worms and hiney- boy words–(kinda like farts are funny to all size boys)
    really…maybe make a mental circle around yourself and don’t allow anymore input inside.
    ENJOY WHERE YOU ARE
    and maybe LET NATHAN guide you-??

  2. From the blog:

    Our minds become unbalanced because we don’t disconnect our minds at night from picturing and visualizing problems and all the negative stuff that we have the tendency to exaggerate during this time so that they appear to be more fearful.
    Before going to sleep we should fill our minds with inspiring thoughts, encouraging stories and visualize our dreams and aspirations.
    Before we go to sleep we should restore our mental balance until we put into the forces which would harmonize and bring peace and joy into our lives.
    From the blog also:
    This redundant advise for you but it would probably help:
    “EVEN THE GREATEST IDEA IS WORTHLESS UNTIL IT IS ACTED UPON.”
    I personally, have been able to know myself better by writing. Just go to sleep in peace and harmony. You can’t get anything resolved at that moment and tomorrow things will look better. Besides, YOU NEED TO REST!!! BELLE NEEDS TO REST!!!
    NATHAN IS THE MOST PERFECTLY PERFECT BOY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!

  3. LUV YA!!! 🙂

  4. AMEN…..

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