I watched “The Secret” again the other day and I loved remembering that our thoughts create our reality. I’ve been in such a funk lately, it was great to remember that I can change my experience of life simply by changing my thoughts. So this whole week I have gone to bed thinking, “I am healthy, I am happy, I am free, I have everything”. I wake up and repeat this litany, I remind myself when my thoughts are spiraling out of control, when I am caught in a nebulous fog of doom. Perhaps it’s a mid-life crisis? Can those happen so early? Is motherhood entirely about self-sacrifice, or can we preserve our identity and still give the best we can to our families? I feel as if the last few years have been about taking care of everyone around me, and there is so little left of ME.

Am I the only one who dreams about disappearing to an island, just for a few days? All alone? I’ve been playing on Travelocity’s “Last Minute” feature and am so so close to just booking something and disappearing for a few days. Oh I want I want I want. Anyone want to hang out?

We are out of crisis mode with Nathan, he is definitely improving, but still experiencing a lot of pain, I am having such a hard time dealing with the whining, I feel like a terrible mom, but the constant whining puts me on edge, it makes me feel useless, helpless, my child is in pain and I can’t do anything to help him, I don’t even know why he’s whining, uuggghhhh. Today he had more acupuncture and another Rolfing massage.

I’m turning 31 in just a few days. I wonder if that’s what’s driving me a bit bonkers? Another year, another child, more aspirations as I watch the years slip by.

Today I read two posts I loved. I wish I could be in the same mind-set as these lovely ladies. They both look beyond the mundane and see miracles everywhere.

Appreciation. Tara is one of my favorite people, I love her attitude and the way she transforms everything.

Let’s Talk Miracles

Or maybe it’s all just the pregnancy hormones?


  1. http://Sally%20Fraley says

    coming down off adrenaline always makes me edgy….adrenaline+ pregnant+life= feeling eh…with the added bliss of gastro-disturbances…

    your role is changing- give yourself space to enjoy that–and for a short time- yes- I poured my entire self into my kids-good or bad- and now they are adults and I feel a bit lost–but I wouldn’t change most of the things I temporarily gave up–I think, though, I would have picked one thing for myself, made an appointment with myself for 2hrs a few times a week no kids no spouse and went to an art class or something….

  2. http://Eugenia says

    Marcela, I am happy to hear that Nathan getting back to himself. Many times the whinning is not just complaining but a way of them talking.

    Marcela, I like “The Power by Rhonda Byrne” better than “The Secret”. I have it in the iPod and I love to listen to it.


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